Wheels of the Industry

This past few weeks have been a real back-breaker. I found myself waking up to go to work early. The thought of logging in to take in calls gave my blood a stir it has so longed for this past few months. I have come to love my job again.

Aside from my "chuvaness" who gives me inspiration, the powers that be has given us something to look forward to. Extra earnings. Nothing drives the wheels of the industry like the promise of a good cash register ring. The calls are never on queue for a long time as the agents rush to get more calls. A renewed gladness and strength has gripped the whole precinct. Is as if a Christmas miracle started early. The tables have been turned upside down. Agents frown when their on "avail" status, the noise that lingers are that of business matters, the team leaders are begging for us to take our breaks.

How long before the human soul becomes unsatisfied once again? Only time will tell. For now, it is the age of progress. Let us hope it stays longer.

The Jedi Unmasked

Recently I have learned that the "anomaly" had discovered the nature of my intentions for her. A jedi trait perhaps? During a recent exchange of information from "Agent D", the beautiful and seductive traveler from the east, I have learned that she had been aware of my mission for God knows how long! Clearly this is a breach in security that I had not foreseen. I have underestimated my quarry and she turned out to be smarter and more observant than I had originally anticipated.

Then again, (and I've said this countless number of times), I'm not really good at practicing discretion since my feelings get ahead of me. A flaw I'm unable to correct since time in memorial. I only wish I had told her myself rather than her deducing it from sheer observation. I wish I'd told her how my heart stops for five seconds every time she smiles, how she inspires me and lights up my darkest moments, how a man of so many words become speechless at the mere sight of her. Okay, maybe it's a little cheesy but, it's understandable because of my current state. Oh, regrets.

The tension grows, however. The distance between us narrows at each passing moment. There may be no hope for me to ameliorate the situation. 'Tis a tragedy to lose the battle before it has begun. For now, I intend not to end the masquerade and try to build whatever it is that I've started. I wish I would have her eyes look at me in the same way again. May God help us in this undertaking.

Journey Back to Dark Side

I had another encounter with the dark side just recently. What seemed like an innocent team bonding with a couple of officemates turned out to be a blast from the past. I found myself in the familiar dance floor at Ratzky. The music was just right and the dance floor called out to me like it once did before.

In life, all of us have to deal with our dark past and the things we gave up for the good of something. Kenshee Himura has his Battousai past and Beatrix Kiddo has her Black Mamba. I, on the other hand, had this other side of me I thought I had already banished. I must admit that when I was there, I couldn't fathom why I gave up all the partying for. Life is good and I'm young and single. "I should be out there grazing and stalking wild prey", I said to myself. Then again, the price I had to pay for all the hard partying back then made a painful backlash to my health and my financial standing. It takes a man to live dangerously and be on fortune's good humor but, it takes a better man to say "no" to the easy way out and do what is required of him.

Chuvaness once said that I look older for my age and that I act too seriously towards a lot of things. I replied and told her that maybe I just grew older earlier than most guys. When I think about all the money and time I've wasted during those partying years, I could never really forgive myself for not seeing clearly the path that I SHOULD take. I made promises to a lot of people I love and I intend to keep them. I've never broken a promise before and I'm not about to start now. I've hurt a lot of people this way, some of them are my closest friends. But in the end, if they are your friends, they will welcome you again with open arms. Be it your dark side or not. This is the path I chose. I hope you have already made yours, wisely.

A picture of my favorite dark lord of the sith... 

A graphic illustration of Jealousy, kinda blurry dont you think 

Jealousy for those Who Care Not

Yet another entry regarding the ever elusive chuvaness. To this day, my progress gained as much as the peso had recovered against the dollar. A weary and dreadful outcome seems to be the theme for every chance encounters.

My unease whenever she's around becomes more and more prominent with each passing day. I'm usually an affectionate guy, making my presence felt with a pat on the shoulder or a surprise back massage and even a light kiss on the cheeks with some. With her, everything changes. A greeting with a conservative smile, an eyebrow salute at the hallways and a not-so-accommodating wave good-bye. To some, it has become evident that I treat her differently and I act strange around her. To her, it is but a mere, trivial matter. She cares not for the way I treat her and is mostly unaware of my presence. At least to my knowledge. I've been catching her off guard with sly glances in my direction, I treat it with a comical tone for it is not in good nature of a Jedi to assume things.

Jealousy is indeed only for the things you would want to be exclusively yours. It may be that she does not wish to be treated the same for the simple fact that she does not care for it. People are starting to notice and she seems to be the only one who is absolutely clue-less regarding the matter. If she knows, I would really like to get at least a reaction of some sort, believe me when I say something is better than nothing at all. And so, my journey continues....