A New Life from the Scraps of Yesterday

Has it been that long since I've seen a smile on my face? I gave the stranger in the mirror a bewildered look as if trying to discern his thoughts and his motives. Was yesterday that long that I can't recall anything? Did my life lose its meaning up until now?

In my search for answers, I only found more questions. In my search for truth, I found lies. In the pursuit of happiness, I've felt nothing but pain. In my attempt to gain riches of this earth, I have reaped thorns and thistles. Thinking God has played a cruel joke on me, I tried to fight it. I clawed and gnawed to get the things I thought I was suppose to have and at the end found no absolution. Planning and scheming only to see what you have built crumble like a sand castle in the wind burning your eyes as it falls apart. How far have I to go? To what purpose and direction does my journey bring me?

I gave up. I surrendered. I swallowed my pride and raised my hands in defeat. I knelt in disgrace for the knowledge I have gained has brought me to my end, my experience became my undoing. I have brought shame to those who have taught me, laid waste to their expectations. And finally, like a dying man, I looked at the footprints of my life and saw just how far I've come. I must've been lost, footprints are everywhere. To my horror, it was not all mine. In my self-pity I've neglected the people who walked with me, shared my fate, my laughter, my aspirations. They were my friends. In my selfish walk of life I never noticed they were there all along. Some of them took a different path, some are still behind me... Some others I have left for dead on the side of the road without a hint of regret or remembrance. I cried for the ones I've lost and embraced those still behind me. With renewed strength, I will push forward.

The road ahead looks much foggy and uncertain. This time though, I know I'll never walk alone. I take each step and greet the face walking beside me as I go from here to the unknown. My prayers are no longer of myself but for the souls who call me by name and shake my hand in respect. It was then that I heard the voice of God after a long time. I kneel now, not in defeat but in fervent prayer. My knowledge and experiences are no longer my own as I share it to those who care to listen. I no longer look to the expectations of others, I do not feel the need to impress them any longer. And finally when I lay down, it is no longer to wait for hand of death but to rest so I could greet the next day with a smile.

I stared at the stranger in the mirror, the one with the odd smile. He shall be a stranger no more, I'll make sure of that.