MSG on my Mind

My brother celebrated his birthday today, I still can't believe we're pushing 20's when it comes to age. I feel like I've lost so much time doing absolutely nothing. The feast in front of me gives a numbing effect to whatever I was contemplating at that particular time. I guess MSG has its good points too.

Chinese food is just not the same without MSG. It feels so much like diet coke. Cheeseburger without the cheese and hotdogs without mustard. I know what you're thinking. The last example may seem a little bit weird for you. Very few people have the ability to actually like mustard.

As I'm trying to drown out the MSG with a good glass of red wine (I've been having far too many this week), I can't help but feel like a drunkard trying to find solutions at the bottom of the glass. I still have no clue as to what my next move is. Lets hope I figure it out before I consume the whole bottle.

Forced Early Retirement

There comes a time in a man's life when he lays down his sword to pursue a more enlightening path of self-evaluation and appraisal. All my life, I've always known that retirement was the number one killer of our aged population. People tend to live longer if they have a job to do. These days when I don't have a job, I tend to think that my health is getting the better of me. Perhaps I should start filling in those quiet moments with loud music.

The problem with prayer and meditation is that you start longing for the afterlife and brings out a lot of issues you have yet to deal with in this world. The future, as uncertain as it is, becomes more complicated if you start to assess your situation prematurely as if your life is on a turning point. If you're not careful, you'll fall into a helpless pit of self loathing or pity.

I must find something to work on soon, but I don't want to go back in the dark again.

A Rebel without a Cause

"I've been violated!" It's amazing what a woman's cry for help can do to a lot of people. It only goes to show that Filipinos, for the most part, are still chivalrous in nature even if most people claim that times have changed. We still cling to an old habit that he who cries first is the victim. Our sense of justice is based on the impeccable ability to convince everyone that an injustice was brought upon you with only your tears as proof.

I am an adamant believer that women should be given due respect as equals and at times, as superiors. A damsel in distress, in this country, is given the benefit of the doubt when crimes are presented to the media and general public. Times have changed. A damsel in distress may not be a victim after all.

Before you go around in public burning flags and pointing at government officials for their lack of support, I urge you to examine the evidence first. We should not be so narrow-minded to side with a woman just because she claims she has been violated and the alleged suspects happen to be Americans. Their race can be capable of monstrous acts, but so are we.

Let's be honest with ourselves. Any self-respecting woman would not join a group of rowdy men whether they're foreign or local. We all know what type of job entrails that kind of service and no one even questioned it. Of course her family will never admit it and the media wouldn't dare ask the question. A proud parent would never say, "My daughter is a whore and I'm not ashamed of it."

So please, stop waiving your sign boards. Stop your protesting as if you're protecting your country's dignity. You're making a fool of yourself for ignoring the truth. If you're still wondering why the government has not pledged their support, it's simple. They must remain impartial. That's how justice works. This country has to stop the mob mentality. You can't change things by going to the streets with a handful of rebels looking for a cause to shout out. The day we loose faith in justice is the day we loose it.

I'm William Wallace

I found myself this afternoon reading a piece of testimonial I wrote for the shark. Not exactly wall of weird material. The thing is, I don't remember writing it.

It was short enough, written in Scottish accent. You may not be familiar with it but, if you know the shark, you can visit her friendster account and just see for yourself.

Remember how Mel Gibson portrayed William Wallace, the great legend in Braveheart? The whole testimonial was written and spelled exactly how the Scots would say it.

It's amazing what the mind can perceive when its inhibitions are removed and all the voices in his head comes out in a weird writing frenzy.

Don't ever let me drink alcohol again. The mind is a very fragile thing...

Daywalker

Being a resident of a society that dwell in the light of the moon, I have become a pale reflection of the man I used to be. I've gained insight, understanding and a profound appreciation of the shadow and all of its inhabitants. In the dark, a sliver of light became a call to rest. The setting of the sun, a call to wake and ready one's self. The nocturnal way of life is a path not so easily diverted. The hold of darkness is strong.

As I see old friends who walk the daylight, they greet me as they set to earn their keep. I give them an expressionless stare. A smile devoid of warmth and sincerity. My drooping eyelids can barely stay adrift as I exchange pleasantries, scripted, as if quoting lines from an old movie. I started to envy them as they walk away with a bewildered look on their face as if saying, "what happened to him?"

Although the dark holds many indulgences of the flesh, my health suffers as I stay to partake of it's pleasures. A slow decay is not part of my grand scheme of things, now I struggle to break free.