Older and Almost Better

A smile falls on my face 5:30 in the morning on a jeepney ride home. I realized I've been using the same old route I've used since elementary school. My friend's place I've been going to since grade 5. It's funny how you grow up and become the same person with an older face. My friends and I have always imagined that we would still be playing the good game even if our arthritic hand would give up on us, hoping by then the game would be triggered not by hand but by thought. Hoping that by the time we would have the money, we would still be unbound and unattached (too bad guys) so we could play all we want without having to answer to no one. Here I was, living a dream I had when I was in high school.

Most people would tell us to grow up saying such pursuit of hollow happiness would be a complete waste of time. I've always believed it to be the other way around. People forget that the reason why and where we are now is a product of such dreams. We wanted to get jobs not for the sake of becoming employed but because we could use the money to better our lives. This is exactly what I'm doing. The little joys that I partake make me a well-rounded person. I am building up for the future as well, but not at the expense of the present. We can't always look forward, we also have to look at where we're walking and sometimes retrace our steps.

As my friends and I gather and throw our regular insults and criticisms at each other (we've been doing this ever since), I remembered imagining the same scene way back. We've been scarred by time and burned by mistakes but the men I saw in that room were the same boys that I grew up with. We have not lost ourselves, our identity. Most adults do. Looking back, we never planned it to be exactly like this but I'm glad that fate brought us here anyway.