This year's celebration of the new year ended in quite a depressing note. I was at the office doing my yearly contemplation of the things that came to pass. I realized that being bound to this work of mine has hampered my growth as far as sociology is concerned. I was able to go out less and I have not made my usual number of acquaintances the last year. Upon deeper thought, I found myself to be alone once again. Ever since quitting "the game", it's been harder to find lasting relationships. A sort of "punishment", I suppose.
It was only until the last month of the year that I had muster the courage to let go of my short term relationships with "old friends". It's hard to say "no" to sex, especially when it's offered to you in a very seductive package. You'll know of this if your a guy. It used to momentarily numb me of the loneliness but lately it's been making it worse. The thought of being used as meat for the hungry reduced me to nothing more than a whore (and not in a good way 'cause I'm not getting paid for it). The path I chose is proving to be a difficult one, self-denial always is.
There I was, sitting in a the corner of the office with my head against the wall feeling sorry for myself. The fireworks outside is temptingly amusing but I couldn't bring myself to get out of my seat and watch it. The year ended in a whimper. I do hope it's not going to be a trend from now on. Then again, we never get what we want. We always get what is needed and if God saw it fitting that I go through with this then I shall.
Birthday Girl
9 years ago
3 comments:
you may think you were alone, you forget, the catfishes were lurking all around you, we were there, though you may not have noticed...©
I'm thinking of maintaining a blog, and strictly maintaining a sched of writing a long post at least once a week. But I'm still undecided on what I'll use, blogger, xanga, or livejournal.
HUGE disadvantage in Blogger is you can't set up an index of other people's blogs, that way it would be easy to keep in touch. After I post in my blog, I don't have a convenient way to switch over and see your blog, or anyone else's.
Now the editor-type criticism: You mean "socially" when you said "sociology". Don't use quotation marks to set off metaphors ("the game", "punishment"), just let them stand as is.
My blogg, my style man!! It doesn't have to be constructed english 101 style. I'm not doing this to get an A+ for a term paper. I type it as I think, no revisions, no nothing. ;)
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